Okay so it has been awhile since I posted last. Where have I been, and what have I been doing? Those are all good questions. The answer is I have been observing my surroundings. I have been taking care of my daughter. I also have been pondering if writing is really what I want to do. All these things have been time consuming. Also I have been sleeping. My employment has been quite busy.
First on my surroundings. The world in which I and the rest of humanity lives. What an exciting week it has been. First our president and congress are going to overhaul the health care system. I really want to see them pull this one off. I have a couple of misgivings about this idea. One is that the government working on health care is extremely scary. I understand the idea behind it. But look at the Veterans administration hospital. That is government in medical care. They are not noted for their great care. Second I had a patient from England tell me. "Do I know why everyone from Europe comes to America for health care? Because socialized medicine doesn't work very well." Second he says "Americans have ruined the English language. What do you think they will do to socialized medicine?" I started to laugh because he was kind of correct.
Next while all this is going on. The country becomes more interested in the case of the angry professor vs the police officer. Talk about changing the subject. The funniest thing was the President's remark. He doesn't have all the facts so unilaterally the police acted stupidly. Well I know how to to gallbladder surgery. Does that make me the surgeon? Duh. I can see it now. He opens his mouth off prompter, and white house press secretary has a stroke. Never let him play with guns or cross the street by himself. Due I have a take on this story? Yes I do.
A call is made to the police. A black man is breaking into a house. The police respond and with that general description I am pretty sure they aren't looking for a hispanic or white guy. They get to the house and find a black man breaking in, but it is his house. He is tired from long flight. It is eighty degrees out and muggy. Tempers are high on both sides. People yelling, and bingo police arrest the man. Now he shouts " is this what happens to a black man in America?" He introduces the race card. Because when you have no other defense when your acting out of anger, and lack of rest. Plus the indignity of being arrested in your own neighborhood. Yeah a little pissed I can understand. If it was me I would have probably reacted the same way. What I am trying to say is that both sides are equally to blame. The professor because anger, pride, and lack of rest equal an very human response. The police because lack of knowledge can be just as volatile. Lets all just try to learn from this and move on. The war in Afghanistan, and Iraq is still going on. Americans are still out of work. Children are still dying for all the wrong reasons. So let's just move on.
I will be writing the rest of my musings that i have discovered this past week. Hope all of you are well in your lives. May God bless you all, and keep you safe.

What you really don't want to hear.

I was at work the other day, and as I was walking around the unit. I was struck my the multiple conversations that were going on. I also thought some of them were quite amusing. It taught me a valuable lesson. That eavesdropping is not a good thing in a hospital.
Some of the following actually occurred.
Doc 1" So where do you think it is connected?"
Doc 2 " Don't know I was just wondering where it comes out?"
Doc 1 " It comes out?" said with some surprise
Doc 2" yep, because if you don't get it out of there. Can't put a new one in it's place."
They are actually talking about moving a computer station for the new lab. They closed the curtain so no one would see them looking online at the design. I had thought they they were doing a procedure. another fine example occurred just yesterday.
Nurse " I don't think you want to do that."
Patient " Yes you want it to swell as big as you can"
Nurse " come on how big can it get?"
Patient" Well last time one swelled so big my girlfriend missed it coming "
Nurse" Yeah wouldn't want to mess around with something that big. I would want to see that coming."
I then asked to come in as I entered the patient was sitting there fully clothed. Showing pictures to the nurse of his trip surfing in Hawaii. The were talking the size of the waves he was seeing. I just started laughing. I have since learned not to really listen to only partial conversations
Enjoy your weekend and let me know if anything like that has happened to you.

I WANT TO UNDERSTAND ?

When is it enough with your children? When do you say? " I cannot except this anymore." That is what I have reached with my son. It has been 9 months since he has worked. In that time he has had 6 job interviews. He seems perfectly content with his situation. I don't understand this because my wife and myself taught both of our children. That you need to work and get an education to survive. Yet he just sits around watching TV,or playing on the computer. When he supposed to be looking for work.
I love my children to a fault. People tell me including my daughter. You need to kick him out. I can't seem to bring myself to do that. First I don't think he will survive. He doesn't drive ( a fact a cannot possibly understand). He just doesn't care about anything.
Early on when this started. I had asked him "Is this because of your mom? Do you miss her that much? That you've given up on yourself." He said "no, I just can't seem to find work."
When my wife died he was working. He was a grocery clerk part-time. Our family need more income. So I asked him if he could increase his work hours. He was working only 15 to16 hour per week. He said " sure" with his usually dopey grin.
In the coming weeks though his pay was less some weeks and increased in others. He had stories of it was payrolls fault. He would make up the difference the following week.This went on for about 6 months. Then one fine day. I found out he had been fired the previous week. When I asked what for he said" he had been stealing to make up the difference in his pay." I couldn't believe this. He hadn't been raised to steal, and I admit my response was way over the top. You see he was nineteen. So I reacted by kicking him out. I know dumb way to respond. Kid loses his mom, steals ,So dad boots him out the door.
After I cooled down. I went and found him. He was at the library. He had walked around for hours, and ended up there. I brought him home and we worked through it. He again found work after 5 months. He last 3 when he got laid off. That was last October. I kept us afloat while he obtained unemployment. That is about a quarter of what he was earning a week when he was working.
The one thing I want you to understand. I don't make a lot of money. Living in Massachusetts is expensive. My income falls between good to bad. I make enough to support my family gross pay wise. But after taxes, medical,dental, eye coverage. I make enough to support a family of two. I don't qualify for any assistance, because I make to much. But when you figure my take home pay I qualify for rent assistance,food stamps. Isn't funny how the government wants to help. But are using income figures from 1963. When I asked why? They said because if they updated them, more people would qualify. "We can't be helping everyone now could we?" the clerk said to me. WOW! so much for we are bringing about change.
So I will sit and cool down. I will pray and ask god to help me through this problem. I just need time. How much only the finance company, and the landlord know for sure. God will help me through this in that I have faith.

We are always being observed

My friend's daughter's funeral was this week. She died because first she got into a car with a drunk driver. Second because she didn't wear her seat belt. Those two decisions may have ended a life way to early. The wake for this young lady was 6 hours long. Well over five hundred people attended. At least half were young adults. All crying and saying "what a shame." As i stood in line with several of my co-workers. I wondered why, and what would i do if in her mom's place. How can you tell a child don't do this thing. When most if not all of us have done it. Driven drunk, and not worn our seat belts. We are supposed to be the example.
When my daughter heard the story. Her first question was "why would someone so smart.Get in to a car with someone who is drunk?" I couldn't answer her. I said "well maybe her judgement was impaired. Because she may have been drinking as well. Maybe she didn't know the person well enough and felt awkward about saying no." All these answers sounded so dumb when I told her. Mainly because i didn't have the answer for her.Aah the joys of parenthood.
My co-workers and i after the wake went out to have a drink(here comes the irony). The wake and the bar are only two blocks from where I live. So no driving for me. The other six people all lived between 2 to 10 miles from where we were. One of the ladies was driving 75 miles to start her vacation that night. We all sat in the bar and had 2 to three drinks apiece( one girl had water after her first beer, and she wasn't driving).The first round what did we do. Raised our glasses and toasted Anna.
So think for yourselves. First how would you have answered my daughter's question. Then second if you have children remember they're always watching and we are the examples for them.

WHY OH WHY

Today was a glorious day. Went to services and praised our lord and savior Jesus. Came home and gave my daughter a ride to work. Did a little shopping. Decided to go for a hike up through the Blue Hills. In the New England region these mountains offer some of the greatest views imaginable.
Took some fantastic photos. I also did some soul searching while I enjoyed God's creations. He truly made a remarkable world for us to enjoy. When I got home my son told me a colleague from work had called. I returned the call, and I wished I hadn't. She was calling to tell me that a fellow nurse's daughter had been killed. She had died about 1:o'clock in the morning on Saturday.
The car she had been in had smashed into a tree. The driver had been drinking. So then his fiance( Mother of their 4 week old child), My friends daughter and her boyfriend got in this car to go get something to eat. Speed and alcohol came into play, and in a matter of minutes everyone but the driver had been killed. Witnesses said that the crash was so bad. The cars engine flew out of the vehicle. God then called 3 young lives home. Their ages were 20,21,2o. My friend's daughter had just started a new job the week before. She was also studying to become a paralegal. A life and a career snuffed out in a moment of time. Over a good time with alcohol.
I cannot imagine what my friend is going through right now. I know and have the faith that this young women is home with our lord.
People will ask "How can god be so cruel?" I don't believe it was God's doing to make the driver have a drink. That was his choice. I just cannot believe that it was God who made that driver speed,just so he could go and get a taco. That again was his choice. Because of the choices that he made. God let him live with the realization that he took 3 lives. My faith tells me those 2 girls and 1 boy are home in heaven. I hope and have faith that god took them quickly, and didn't let them suffer.
I pray for all the families that have been affected by this tragedy. I cannot imagine or even want too the pain they're experiencing. I ask all that read this blog ( if anyone). Hug your own family members. Please, oh please don't get behind the wheel of a car if you have been drinking. I have witnessed this tragedy over and over again. Thank you all for listening to an old mans rant.

Happy fourth of July. Our country is 233 yrs of age. Still young compared to the other nations of the world. Still acting like we should run everything. Yet shouldn't we clean up our own backyard first.
Our economy is still a mess, and the government is making little headway is solving the problems. Jobless rate is up to 9.5%. Homelessness is rising. I have also read that bank regulators have closed banks. All this news is very dire to read.
I am concerned that during all this the leading news is still Michael Jackson. I feel this is the medias attempt to lead us away from the other news.Such as North Korea testing Missiles. The supreme court nominee's major decision on the New haven Firefighters is over turned. Still we go on, despite all of this. This story is not meant as a criticism. Rather it is meant as a complement. Because in no other country. Could we even think of putting our criticisms and concerns in writing. I applaud our nation.
I believe that we will come through this time of crisis. I believe that with God's help influencing our leaders decisions.I pray for the soldiers that our still fighting for our country. To some people who observed this celebration. It may appear like Nero fiddling while Rome burns. But I think that this celebration is a reminder of what we a Americans can do.
Lets stop concerning ourselves with celebrity lives and start looking at our own. Lets raise our children, instead of allowing them to grow up. My mother and father used to say" we're not here to be your friends, those you can make on your own. We're here to teach you right from wrong, and the consequences of wrong choices.To show you how to respect your elders. To be examples of what is good and right about people."
As I grow older. I remember these words more and more. I miss my parents, my wife, my brothers and sisters on this day. Why? Because this day was also about the American family, and how we would have to stay together through the good and the bad. Supporting each other through thick and thin.
So again HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! Long may the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA stand

It amazes me as old as people get, how we still act like children. I was working today, and I overheard two people talking. Both of them were quite upset about there discussion. What it came down to they thought that another nurse and technician weren't doing as much work as they were. Now both of these people are well into there forties. Raised children and have grandchildren as well. Sounds like two adults, but they sounded like two kids.
" They haven't gotten one case all day" Nurse one says
" I know, they always get less cases. I think the flow nurse likes them better." Said tech one.
No, really the head nurse likes them better. Came out of a grown adult mouth. But the bottom line is that all of this was based upon their perception. You see if the two people had checked it out. That crew had been working through the night. Second while the first two were doing their case. The second crew was doing another case, and relieving people for lunches. So you see everything we do is based upon perception.
Rather than just do our jobs, we stand around watching and worrying about what the other guy is doing. Wasting time and starting rumors. Creating dissension and hurting peoples feelings. So how do you stop this from happening. Try to remember we're adults and should act accordingly.I know this is easier said then done. All we can do is try.
Just a passing thought. To raise some questions about our own actions.