Sunday, June 27, 2010

Well today was very interesting. I managed to get both children to church. That was an eventful experience. My son excepted Jesus Christ as his savior a year ago. I have been saved for about 2 years. My daughter is another story all together. I believe that she is still angry at God for taking her Mom home. I can understand that because my son and I were the same way.
When my daughter gets mad at someone. She holds it for quite awhile. She has said I still believe in God and Jesus, But i am mad at him. Hopefully she will move on. At least that is what I pray.
After church we went to one of the members homes for a picnic. My son who is kind of socially challenged had a great time. My daughter is a typical teenager. Nothing interested her. She is very friendly and respectful to everyone. But you can tell she isn't having a good time. But we lasted for two hours. For them is was a great accomplishment.
So by now your asking yourself why is this so interesting? Because it was something out of the normal routine for me. My life is usually work, home, and bed. That is a pretty boring life style. I want to come out of my shell. Why because I have been mourning the loss of my wife of twenty years for three years. I am starting to realize I cannot let that define me.
So what else have I been doing to maybe break this cycle. I have been reconnecting with some old friends. I am trying to start dating again. I have met a women my age, and I will see where that goes. Again I am trying to overcome my loneliness, and feelings a despair. I just need to find my gifts again and run with them. Well God bless everyone.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Absolutly Terrified

Well it is finally happening. My lovely daughter has graduated high school. She leaves for college in 2 months, and i am terrified.
I wonder if this is what empty nest syndrome feels like. I am coming to realize at my age. That I have never been really alone. When my wife died. I replaced her by focusing on my kids. Now they're older an leaving. I am terrified.
This is truly my adventure. Somehow I am afraid of screwing this up. I can barely afford my rent. No college degree of my own. I was taught that a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on the table. That was all you needed. I think somehow There was probably supposed to be more. I just missed it or chose not to go after it. I have somehow let my fear of failing overshadow everything in my life.
All I have to say is that time for a change. God tells us that he will provide. I have to have faith that he will. But only if we help as well. Not let him do all the work.
That's all for now. Will keep you updated

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I am back

Well it is time to get some writing done. I know folk's it has been awhile. I promise that this time i will keep more up to date. I plan on a schedule of blogging twice a week. Topics will include social issues, my work,faith, and dating at 50. I hope people will follow along. It has been a strange journey.
I also have a blog going on Word If you want to know where just ask. I hope to get some type of feedback and make some friends along the way. Stay tuned.