SEEKING THE WAY

Okay folks Back to my writing. I have pretty lazy, and out of it for awhile. So my apologies to everyone. Today in church had a very interesting discussion. Oh yeah and my son found Jesus as his own personal savior. He was baptized and I hope God blesses him and guides him through his life.
Back to today's discussion. How can we as Christians emulate Jesus values while he was here?
The thing that I thought was interesting. Was God was here on earth for thirty years and no one ever noticed. It reminded me of that song from a few years ago. "What if Go were one of us."
It brought up some great ideas. Like if the media found out. how would they approach him/her.
Give him there own television show. Maybe instead of the apprentice. How about the "Disciple."
Maybe a CNN could pair him/her up with Larry king for a new talk show format.
I suppose my question to God is always the same. If anyone can fix stupid it is him. The answer for me is always the same. Stupid or intelligent, white, black , green, or yellow. He loves us all equally. The greatest thing I have learned is love should be unconditional. After all I am far from perfect. I am a sinner, and have no right to judge others for what they believe or don't.
My belief and prayer is that I am thankful for everything God blesses me with each day. Even when my day truly sucks.
So I end the way I began. What if God was one of us?

Okay so it has been awhile since I posted last. Where have I been, and what have I been doing? Those are all good questions. The answer is I have been observing my surroundings. I have been taking care of my daughter. I also have been pondering if writing is really what I want to do. All these things have been time consuming. Also I have been sleeping. My employment has been quite busy.
First on my surroundings. The world in which I and the rest of humanity lives. What an exciting week it has been. First our president and congress are going to overhaul the health care system. I really want to see them pull this one off. I have a couple of misgivings about this idea. One is that the government working on health care is extremely scary. I understand the idea behind it. But look at the Veterans administration hospital. That is government in medical care. They are not noted for their great care. Second I had a patient from England tell me. "Do I know why everyone from Europe comes to America for health care? Because socialized medicine doesn't work very well." Second he says "Americans have ruined the English language. What do you think they will do to socialized medicine?" I started to laugh because he was kind of correct.
Next while all this is going on. The country becomes more interested in the case of the angry professor vs the police officer. Talk about changing the subject. The funniest thing was the President's remark. He doesn't have all the facts so unilaterally the police acted stupidly. Well I know how to to gallbladder surgery. Does that make me the surgeon? Duh. I can see it now. He opens his mouth off prompter, and white house press secretary has a stroke. Never let him play with guns or cross the street by himself. Due I have a take on this story? Yes I do.
A call is made to the police. A black man is breaking into a house. The police respond and with that general description I am pretty sure they aren't looking for a hispanic or white guy. They get to the house and find a black man breaking in, but it is his house. He is tired from long flight. It is eighty degrees out and muggy. Tempers are high on both sides. People yelling, and bingo police arrest the man. Now he shouts " is this what happens to a black man in America?" He introduces the race card. Because when you have no other defense when your acting out of anger, and lack of rest. Plus the indignity of being arrested in your own neighborhood. Yeah a little pissed I can understand. If it was me I would have probably reacted the same way. What I am trying to say is that both sides are equally to blame. The professor because anger, pride, and lack of rest equal an very human response. The police because lack of knowledge can be just as volatile. Lets all just try to learn from this and move on. The war in Afghanistan, and Iraq is still going on. Americans are still out of work. Children are still dying for all the wrong reasons. So let's just move on.
I will be writing the rest of my musings that i have discovered this past week. Hope all of you are well in your lives. May God bless you all, and keep you safe.

What you really don't want to hear.

I was at work the other day, and as I was walking around the unit. I was struck my the multiple conversations that were going on. I also thought some of them were quite amusing. It taught me a valuable lesson. That eavesdropping is not a good thing in a hospital.
Some of the following actually occurred.
Doc 1" So where do you think it is connected?"
Doc 2 " Don't know I was just wondering where it comes out?"
Doc 1 " It comes out?" said with some surprise
Doc 2" yep, because if you don't get it out of there. Can't put a new one in it's place."
They are actually talking about moving a computer station for the new lab. They closed the curtain so no one would see them looking online at the design. I had thought they they were doing a procedure. another fine example occurred just yesterday.
Nurse " I don't think you want to do that."
Patient " Yes you want it to swell as big as you can"
Nurse " come on how big can it get?"
Patient" Well last time one swelled so big my girlfriend missed it coming "
Nurse" Yeah wouldn't want to mess around with something that big. I would want to see that coming."
I then asked to come in as I entered the patient was sitting there fully clothed. Showing pictures to the nurse of his trip surfing in Hawaii. The were talking the size of the waves he was seeing. I just started laughing. I have since learned not to really listen to only partial conversations
Enjoy your weekend and let me know if anything like that has happened to you.

I WANT TO UNDERSTAND ?

When is it enough with your children? When do you say? " I cannot except this anymore." That is what I have reached with my son. It has been 9 months since he has worked. In that time he has had 6 job interviews. He seems perfectly content with his situation. I don't understand this because my wife and myself taught both of our children. That you need to work and get an education to survive. Yet he just sits around watching TV,or playing on the computer. When he supposed to be looking for work.
I love my children to a fault. People tell me including my daughter. You need to kick him out. I can't seem to bring myself to do that. First I don't think he will survive. He doesn't drive ( a fact a cannot possibly understand). He just doesn't care about anything.
Early on when this started. I had asked him "Is this because of your mom? Do you miss her that much? That you've given up on yourself." He said "no, I just can't seem to find work."
When my wife died he was working. He was a grocery clerk part-time. Our family need more income. So I asked him if he could increase his work hours. He was working only 15 to16 hour per week. He said " sure" with his usually dopey grin.
In the coming weeks though his pay was less some weeks and increased in others. He had stories of it was payrolls fault. He would make up the difference the following week.This went on for about 6 months. Then one fine day. I found out he had been fired the previous week. When I asked what for he said" he had been stealing to make up the difference in his pay." I couldn't believe this. He hadn't been raised to steal, and I admit my response was way over the top. You see he was nineteen. So I reacted by kicking him out. I know dumb way to respond. Kid loses his mom, steals ,So dad boots him out the door.
After I cooled down. I went and found him. He was at the library. He had walked around for hours, and ended up there. I brought him home and we worked through it. He again found work after 5 months. He last 3 when he got laid off. That was last October. I kept us afloat while he obtained unemployment. That is about a quarter of what he was earning a week when he was working.
The one thing I want you to understand. I don't make a lot of money. Living in Massachusetts is expensive. My income falls between good to bad. I make enough to support my family gross pay wise. But after taxes, medical,dental, eye coverage. I make enough to support a family of two. I don't qualify for any assistance, because I make to much. But when you figure my take home pay I qualify for rent assistance,food stamps. Isn't funny how the government wants to help. But are using income figures from 1963. When I asked why? They said because if they updated them, more people would qualify. "We can't be helping everyone now could we?" the clerk said to me. WOW! so much for we are bringing about change.
So I will sit and cool down. I will pray and ask god to help me through this problem. I just need time. How much only the finance company, and the landlord know for sure. God will help me through this in that I have faith.

We are always being observed

My friend's daughter's funeral was this week. She died because first she got into a car with a drunk driver. Second because she didn't wear her seat belt. Those two decisions may have ended a life way to early. The wake for this young lady was 6 hours long. Well over five hundred people attended. At least half were young adults. All crying and saying "what a shame." As i stood in line with several of my co-workers. I wondered why, and what would i do if in her mom's place. How can you tell a child don't do this thing. When most if not all of us have done it. Driven drunk, and not worn our seat belts. We are supposed to be the example.
When my daughter heard the story. Her first question was "why would someone so smart.Get in to a car with someone who is drunk?" I couldn't answer her. I said "well maybe her judgement was impaired. Because she may have been drinking as well. Maybe she didn't know the person well enough and felt awkward about saying no." All these answers sounded so dumb when I told her. Mainly because i didn't have the answer for her.Aah the joys of parenthood.
My co-workers and i after the wake went out to have a drink(here comes the irony). The wake and the bar are only two blocks from where I live. So no driving for me. The other six people all lived between 2 to 10 miles from where we were. One of the ladies was driving 75 miles to start her vacation that night. We all sat in the bar and had 2 to three drinks apiece( one girl had water after her first beer, and she wasn't driving).The first round what did we do. Raised our glasses and toasted Anna.
So think for yourselves. First how would you have answered my daughter's question. Then second if you have children remember they're always watching and we are the examples for them.

WHY OH WHY

Today was a glorious day. Went to services and praised our lord and savior Jesus. Came home and gave my daughter a ride to work. Did a little shopping. Decided to go for a hike up through the Blue Hills. In the New England region these mountains offer some of the greatest views imaginable.
Took some fantastic photos. I also did some soul searching while I enjoyed God's creations. He truly made a remarkable world for us to enjoy. When I got home my son told me a colleague from work had called. I returned the call, and I wished I hadn't. She was calling to tell me that a fellow nurse's daughter had been killed. She had died about 1:o'clock in the morning on Saturday.
The car she had been in had smashed into a tree. The driver had been drinking. So then his fiance( Mother of their 4 week old child), My friends daughter and her boyfriend got in this car to go get something to eat. Speed and alcohol came into play, and in a matter of minutes everyone but the driver had been killed. Witnesses said that the crash was so bad. The cars engine flew out of the vehicle. God then called 3 young lives home. Their ages were 20,21,2o. My friend's daughter had just started a new job the week before. She was also studying to become a paralegal. A life and a career snuffed out in a moment of time. Over a good time with alcohol.
I cannot imagine what my friend is going through right now. I know and have the faith that this young women is home with our lord.
People will ask "How can god be so cruel?" I don't believe it was God's doing to make the driver have a drink. That was his choice. I just cannot believe that it was God who made that driver speed,just so he could go and get a taco. That again was his choice. Because of the choices that he made. God let him live with the realization that he took 3 lives. My faith tells me those 2 girls and 1 boy are home in heaven. I hope and have faith that god took them quickly, and didn't let them suffer.
I pray for all the families that have been affected by this tragedy. I cannot imagine or even want too the pain they're experiencing. I ask all that read this blog ( if anyone). Hug your own family members. Please, oh please don't get behind the wheel of a car if you have been drinking. I have witnessed this tragedy over and over again. Thank you all for listening to an old mans rant.

Happy fourth of July. Our country is 233 yrs of age. Still young compared to the other nations of the world. Still acting like we should run everything. Yet shouldn't we clean up our own backyard first.
Our economy is still a mess, and the government is making little headway is solving the problems. Jobless rate is up to 9.5%. Homelessness is rising. I have also read that bank regulators have closed banks. All this news is very dire to read.
I am concerned that during all this the leading news is still Michael Jackson. I feel this is the medias attempt to lead us away from the other news.Such as North Korea testing Missiles. The supreme court nominee's major decision on the New haven Firefighters is over turned. Still we go on, despite all of this. This story is not meant as a criticism. Rather it is meant as a complement. Because in no other country. Could we even think of putting our criticisms and concerns in writing. I applaud our nation.
I believe that we will come through this time of crisis. I believe that with God's help influencing our leaders decisions.I pray for the soldiers that our still fighting for our country. To some people who observed this celebration. It may appear like Nero fiddling while Rome burns. But I think that this celebration is a reminder of what we a Americans can do.
Lets stop concerning ourselves with celebrity lives and start looking at our own. Lets raise our children, instead of allowing them to grow up. My mother and father used to say" we're not here to be your friends, those you can make on your own. We're here to teach you right from wrong, and the consequences of wrong choices.To show you how to respect your elders. To be examples of what is good and right about people."
As I grow older. I remember these words more and more. I miss my parents, my wife, my brothers and sisters on this day. Why? Because this day was also about the American family, and how we would have to stay together through the good and the bad. Supporting each other through thick and thin.
So again HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! Long may the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA stand

It amazes me as old as people get, how we still act like children. I was working today, and I overheard two people talking. Both of them were quite upset about there discussion. What it came down to they thought that another nurse and technician weren't doing as much work as they were. Now both of these people are well into there forties. Raised children and have grandchildren as well. Sounds like two adults, but they sounded like two kids.
" They haven't gotten one case all day" Nurse one says
" I know, they always get less cases. I think the flow nurse likes them better." Said tech one.
No, really the head nurse likes them better. Came out of a grown adult mouth. But the bottom line is that all of this was based upon their perception. You see if the two people had checked it out. That crew had been working through the night. Second while the first two were doing their case. The second crew was doing another case, and relieving people for lunches. So you see everything we do is based upon perception.
Rather than just do our jobs, we stand around watching and worrying about what the other guy is doing. Wasting time and starting rumors. Creating dissension and hurting peoples feelings. So how do you stop this from happening. Try to remember we're adults and should act accordingly.I know this is easier said then done. All we can do is try.
Just a passing thought. To raise some questions about our own actions.

Never Judge a Book By It's Cover

Sunday morning started out great. Made my famous waffles for breakfast. Off to church. Then on the way home stopped by a couple of places so my son could look for work. Day proceeded even better. Went to Starbucks after dropping my daughter off at work. Was able to write about 1500 words. So story is at 3300 words. cannot wait to do the editing.
So now my daughter calls me to inform me that one of her customers accused her of being a racist. Which if you knew my daughter would be laughable. It is also amusing because her bosses are all people of color. You see she works in a shoe store, and when she was trained she was told that if anyone enters the store with large bags. Then the girls must watch them. So this family of color came into the store. She greeted them and asked if she could be of service. They refused very annoyed at being asked. She noticed that each had large shopping bags, and asked if they wanted to leave them in the front so as not to have to carry them around. Giving the customers more freedom to look around. She does this for all customers per her managers protocols.Again very annoyed they refused. So then the family proceeded down one of the aisles. The only other customer in the store was checking out( Nicole describes him as a regular, and likes him because and I quote " He is the first gay man of color she has ever met,And he helped her pick out a great pair of shoes." My daughter could care less your color or religion. Only thing she cares about is how you treat and act towards her.
So to make a long story short. The family got upset and said my daughter was watching them because they were only black people in the store . Nicole's response " No we watch all people with large shopping bags, and when your the only customers in a 3 aisle shoe store. You kind of do get watched." Then she said her manager Heather came out when she heard the remark. Her reply was " Come back anytime. We appreciate your business. Have a nice day."
The family stood there looking at Heather staring because Heather is a very stunning women. She is of Asian and African descent, and is also wheelchair bound. None of which makes a bit of difference because I have raised Nicole, and John to treat people like you would care to be treated. Not on how they look. Just on their actions. To see past the color barrier. Because Idiots and Morons come in all shapes, sizes and color.
Because after all people sometimes stare at me. Should I assume it is because I am a large Fat man or maybe because my fly was open. Either way Try to look at the larger picture. We have a man of color in the white house calling for change. So why not lets all try to change and see how that works out for us. Because the old ways really do not ever work. So why not be American people, and not African, Irish, Mexican, Italian or any other people. Let try being Americans
Sorry for the rant, but just a father trying to protect his daughter from the stupidity in this world

How quickly time goes by

Another week ends, and oh what a week it has been. First Ed McMahon Dies, then Lovely Farrah goes next, and finally Michael Jackson. Three famous individuals all in the same expanse of time. Kind of shows us all how fleeting life really is, and it doesn't matter your economic status or fame. When God calls you home, then home is where you will go. I feel for all their loved ones. The same as I feel for the loss of anyone who has lost their life a their loved ones. I work in an environment where death is always the possibility. So if my meaning comes across as flippant Then please except my sincere apologies.
I have heard in the media what a gentleman Mr McMahon was, as how very courageous Farrah handle her death. Michael Jackson was a great entertainer with a lot of his own personal demons. The media now tries to make up for vilifying him, now to make him the greatest singer of all time. Oh how are attention span has shortened. My wife's favorite saying used to be " Please don't invite certain people. Because if they couldn't say anything nice while I was alive. Then I definitely don't want them at my funeral. "
Makes you kind of wonder doesn't it. I would like to see the media( radio, television, and the press.) Do the same type of tribute for every soldier, Police officer, Firefighter to the janitor. That they're overwhelmingly doing For Michael Jackson. Only to satisfy their sense of right and wrong. I have vented long enough. May god bless all the souls we have lost this week and comfort their families as well.
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven." Mat 6; 19, 20
Thank you all for taking time to read this, and stay tuned tomorrow a little more cheerfulness.

From the mouths of Babes

Yesterday started like any other day of the week. It has been raining for four days here. So naturally I am getting ready to build the ark. Instead I drove my car into work, dodging the rivers that have formed where once roads lay ed. Now work on some days can be one of two choices. It can be moderately busy, or like yesterdays version of practicing medicine while a football game is in progress. Minus the referees of course.
So I was doingmy job. Which requires me to be in several locations at the same time doing multiple tasks.Think Michael Keaton in Multiplicity, minus the clones. Moving along I was helping to discharge one patient when across the playing field(oops) the unit I hear my name being called. I answer the person , which is then proceeded with the (here it comes) question" are you busy?" I think come on please. I am discharging here, then in slot 28 I am prepping a patient. Meanwhile The unit clerk needs to use the bathroom so I need to answer the phone. Then help another nurse steer the stretcher. So my answer is " No what do you need."
My day progresses like this for the next ten hours, minus the 45 minute lunch. At the peak of this insanity. I am in with a patient trying to control some bleeding that they have going on. The intercom barks my name. I tell them I am a little busy right now. The unit clerk says it is my daughter, and she says it is very important That she really needs to talk to me. My co-worker comes in immediately, so that I can answer this call. I am thinking
" House burned down, she is kidnapped, My son fell off the roof What?"
I pick up the call and she says in her most loving tones.
"Daddy(Yes she still calls me daddy at seventeen) we're out of grape jelly"
This was the emergency. The all important phone call. I start to laugh, and laugh to the point where people have that nervous he has gone insane look upon their faces.
" Put it on the grocery list i finally tell her. I will get it on Saturday. "
I hang up the phone. I am still chuckling to myself and go back to work for two more hours of insanity.
Once again a child has put the voice of reason into my job with those famous words. There is no grape jelly.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

Okay, so here is my question? Why did god make teenage girls? My belief it was to torment fathers,kinda his own sense of humour. My reason for asking this question is simple. I had thought that my daughter and I had a pretty good relationship with her.
That may have been my poor reading of the situation. I mean as much as I had to admit it. I did go prom dress shopping with her. She didn't want any of her aunts nope just dad. I took that as a pretty great compliment. She does confide just about everything to me. She would call me at 2pm everyday after school. Just to tell me how her day went, and I would listen. Why because that was what her mom would do.
But how come every time she has a fight with her boyfriend. I become the target of her aggression. Now normally I would just let it go, but it intrigues me. If a male were to do this to a female. Example male a fights with his girlfriend, so then he comes home and starts targeting his mom, and sister. When He is mad at his girlfriend.
So again why me ? This is just a rant by a very tired and confused male. Thank you for your time and patience. Further updates to follow. Oh and another thing when she is like this think. Diary of a shopaholic, meets Mean girls.

A new Begining

Happy father's day to all. Well a start to the new week has begun. New hope's and wishes. A fresh start to the week.
I managed to Get to Starbucks and write off another thousand words to my short story. Very productive considering I didn't start that way this morning. But after 3 cups of coffee it is amazing how much you can get done.
My children gave me a couple of movies and a New tripod as gifts. I was impressed, and my son is cooking dinner. This is due to the fact that his sister is working.
Every now and then they do surprise dear old dad. They are so different yet so alike in a lot of heir ways. Even the way they came into this world was different for each of them. One came 4 week early, and the other was here 2 months early. But that is a blog for a later date.
So god bless, have a excellent week, and keep on writing

Not so bad when you look at the big picture

Well the end of the week is here, and TGIF. The past couple of days haven't been what you might say as spectacular. But then again unless you're Bill Gates most weeks are not that spectacular.
First work was horrendous, and in health care that isn't a word you really want to hear. In two days time we did 78 cases, mostly cardiac catherizations. Then on the way home lost the cell phone. That may have been the highlight. My car went to the shop to have the check engine light fixed.That was better than expected. But right after I left the mechanic's, you betcha not one but 2 flat tires. So got those fixed without a problem. It was easy when I was only 2 blocks from the mechanics.
So where do you think all this is heading. Really once you read this just think your week may not be half as bad as the next person's. Because that is just the way I am looking at it. I did need a new phone, so I figured it;s God just telling me it's time to do just that. Yes work was busy, but at least I am working. Lastly I was glad I was as close to the mechanics with my flat tires. I could have been farther and going a lot faster.
So happy father's day to all, and remember "if we don't all start laughing we will go insane."

The worst day of my life

I know it has been a few days since my last blog. But I have been trying to think and consider what I wanted to write. I am housebound today. that is due to the fact of my car is in the shop. So I think today should be like my car. Getting a tune up and changing the oil. so how to start is at the begining. The last day I saw the woman I loved after 21 years of marriage.
Patti as I have written before had been ill for quite some time. Migraines were her latest symptom. She would average 2 to 3 a week. She was trying every known remedy the doctors and friends would tell her about. I mean Reiko, to botox injections, and medications. They would ease the pain just never cure it. She had neuropathy in her legs and feet, she was on anti rejection medication for her kidney transplant. To all of you this may describe a woman in her 50's or 60's. Patti was 46, and had been this way since she was 35. But never a complaint did she utter to anyone but me. Her hospitalizations would be about every other month. When she first came down with renal failure and was placed on dialysis. She developed a seizure disorder. Which no one could diagnose, because they were masked by her diabetes. But still I loved her, and cared for her. I was once told other men would have walked with this going on. Me i decided it was for better or worse, and she was my best friend. She understood me, and my mood swings. My flaws and short comings. So she still loved me.
We had our problems. The usual I wasn't working hard enough. Making enough money. Not taking life seriously enough. Arguing was usually how our days went, and being angry at each other was how our nights went. But still we loved each other.
Mothers day weekend 2 years ago change my cycle of life. Patti was taking Nicole( my daughter) and going to the cape. So she could help take care of her mom who was seriously ill. I was going to have a couple of days with John to do father and son stuff. We would meet on the Sunday and go out for dinner to celebrate mother's day.Instead I spent Mother's day Planning my wife's funeral, not how envisioned it.
I kissed he goodbye, and hugged my daughter. Patti gave me my to do list, and said she would call me.
All day I didn't hear from her. Nicole called me and told me mommy was sick, she was throwing up and felt really sleepy. By 10:30 that night I finally talked to her. I offered immediately to come get her. She sounded tired and distant. She said" no it was just a bug" I felt something was wrong.I told her if she didn't feel any better go to the hospital. She said " okay I will have my sister take me in the morning."
The next day John and I went to do our thing. I had called my in laws house Nicole said Mom was sleeping, and had just asked for a blanket." have her call me on my cell when she gets up." I just had a feeling something wasn't right. A couple of hours later john answered my cell, and said" dad it's Nicole and she is crying."
"What's wrong"
"Mommies really." she was barely understandable.and then I heard my sister-in law come on the line.
"Shawn come quick I can't wake Patti up."
I drove the hour in a half drive in under 40minutes. When I arrived at the hospital, The ER receptionist told me to follow her. As we walked into the back she took me to the door marked ' Family Room' , and I knew it was bad. I walked in and Nicole was crying. My sister in law informed me that my Patti was gone, My mind said " You're wrong. Patti gets sick ,goes to the hospital gets better, and comes home." I had lost my wife, my best friend, and the only person I truly and honestly trusted.
Even after 25 months the pain and loss still feel like it did on the first day. So don't let anyone else tell you it get easier, because that is a lie. The pain just comes and goes like the tide. What you have to do is just be ready to surf the waves.
God bless and Keep on writing

A lazy Sunday, or what every day should be like

Well another start to the week ahead, and what shall God bring to it. I couldn't make it to church because My daughter needed a ride to work. Hopefully she will have her license soon, and then god help us all. So I read a little bible, watched Charles Stanley,and cooked breakfast.
I decided i needed to get some writing done. I worked out that I would drop off my daughter. Then off to the local Starbucks. I wonder why writers and academics flee to the Starbucks. Maybe a story idea out of that one.
I took the laptop, sure enough in little less then 2 hours I pumped out my first story. I got home and submitted online. I let my son review it. I think he was a little impressed with it.
I also learned that when your children are frightened of you. They don't make the best literary critics. When I told him he would not be placed on the racked, or drawn and quartered. He gave me his honest opinion He liked it, and said he wished it was longer. I told him I was limited by the word count for the contest. He said " Oh in that case it is very good."
But again he is bias. Notice I didn't let my daughter read it. Why? Because she thinks that this writing thing her dad is doing is lame. So stay away from hostile critics.
Once I have heard I will post it here, and let the masses tear me apart. But what better way to learn.
The rest of the day is just me doing what I love to do most. Cooking, Getting ready for work tomorrow, Placing hot pokers in my eyes at the thought of work. Oh sorry did I write that.
Well til tomorrow. Thank al of you who take the time to read this drivel that I spew. May your days be happy ones, and your nights be spent sleeping in beautiful peace.

Why these times try me so

Well the week is finally over. It didn't go the way i had hoped. Work was work and we did almost 175 cases. Friday was the worst. None of the cases went as smoothly as I had hoped.
Then in the middle of the week, my check engine light came on, which means we shall see.My son still not any closer to working then I had hoped. This means we are running behind on finances.
My daughter is having trouble with her best friend. I am at a loss as to how to advise her. The bible says god will only give you as much as you can handle. I am hoping and praying that He has seen fit to give me my share this go around.
I am sorry if this writing seems a little whiny. Matter of fact it sounds that way to me as well. But I am hoping that my writing about my life will reach someone as well. To show them that it isn't really as bad as it seems,well almost.
The good news is that the story I am writing for my first contest is almost done. I have to do some fine tuning. I am at 975 words so need to edit it down to 750, and change the story line a little bit as well. I have been doing a lot of reading of some very good short stories, and am contemplating that realm of writing.
I am also going out tomorrow and do some landscaping photos, another of my hobbies.
I hope by doing this it may relieve some of the anxiety of the previous week.
So for now god bless to all, and keep on writing.

Is it truly like father like son

My daughter and son are two opposites. First my son, he is 20 soon to be 21 years old. He loves to read, video games, and television. Now I wish he would take that energy and put it towards his life.
I can tell you he is a great and kind human being. When he focus's on a goal there is no stopping him in attaining it. I think at least part of the way he is turning out is my fault. When he was younger I left most of his upbringing to his mom. I was always working, and when I would get home i wouldn't spend to much time with him. Mainly because working nights meant sleeping days. Which did't leave much time for family bonding.
Then My wife became pregnantwith our second child. This pregnancy didn't go according to hoyle. She was constantly in and out of the hospital. several times taken out by ambulance. So what happened was, the t.v. became my babysitter. It was just easier. I know seeing your mom at five years old taken out by ambulances couldn't have helped either.
When his sister was born again he was placed second. Due to janey being born 3 months premature. She came home on monitoring, and all sorts of problems. My wife was also recovering. The pregnanacy had caused her kidneys to shutdown. So that couldn't have helped either.
I know these all excuses do not justufy Johns behavior. But could they really have helped? I will write further on this in the coming days. I also welcome any comments from any parents. This is a whole new realm for me.

What I do and why I do it

I have told you I work in health care. That part is true. M mom actually got me started. She had worked in our local hospital as a nurses aide. She had done this since as long as I could remember. That was her night job,during the day she worked as a meat wrapper in the local Market. Both my parents worked 2 jobs, and never ones that most people would say made sense. My father worked during the day as a granite cutter in the quarry in our town. At night he was the head chef in an Italian restaurant. Which was funny because my dad was a full blooded American Indian.

But I digress. After my dad passed away.My mother would bring me to the hospital to keep me out of trouble. So by the time I as ten,I could wrap an OR kit, and run it through a sterilizer. I knew the stocking level on most of the floors, and finally how to give a bed bath before I even turned 12. Impressive some might say. But not necessarily a normal childhood.

My mother raised me to believe .That if you worked in hospital well you would always have a job. She always encourage me to do hospital care. So that is what i have done. But not maybe for the reasons you may think.
I enjoy taking care of people. I find it very rewarding. My job basically entails assisting nurses and physicians in doing their jobs. I prepare the patient both physically, and mentally for procedures that they are about to under go.
Mentally I try to allay their fears.Because fear of the unknown is really the most terrifying for a human being. Than any other emotion. So being greeted by a smile. A joke or two will probably lighten the mood.
Some words of advice about coming to the hospital,or doctors office. Please if you arrive early do not think you are coming in early. Old wives tale. If you arrive late plan on waiting. Because early or late medical time is totally different than human time. Everyone waits, it is a rule that you are entering a hurry up and wait world. Your in a hurry we make you wait.
Second whatever anyone tells you multiply it by three. If someone says " We will be with you in a couple of minutes." That means at least 6 to 12 minutes. If you hear " It will take about an hour before we can do the x-ray." that equals a three hour wait just to be told " It may be another 15 to 20 minutes." which means another 45 minute wait. Then you go to another room to get changed into that lovely Johnie. Then your told it will be 5 to 10 minutes more, and you wait a half hour.
So as a rule of thumb. If you can do it. Take the day off for any type of medical visit. That way if it moves right along,
it will be a gift.
More on the ever changing world of health care. Also my adventures in this ever changing writer's adventure.

How a marriage starts,or what not to do when you are in love

On today's date at 1pm I was married. The day started with my best man almost getting arrested on the way to the wedding. It ended with my new wife and I getting locked out of out hotel room at 3 in the morning.
We had been taken to the hotel by none other than her father. Who we both believed if he could have gone up to the room with us he would have. That was my first day with my new bride.It took 2 days for me even to say that I was married. But through that whole day I knew that I loved her.
The biggest question I think that people ponder is, what is love? well my answer came when I got married. I think that love is when two human beings can be themselves totally. No trying to impress each other,or feeling they have to act a certain way. It means both parties feel the kindred emotion of total acceptance.
That was how I felt about my wife. Yes through the years we had are battles,but we both realized the a relationship was like work. Both parties giving and taking,but for the same goal. To remain together forever. Communication with another human being is critical,after all nobody is a mind reader.Again just my opinion.
I mentioned my best man almost getting arrested. It is a very amusing story
It started that morning at his house,We all were recovering from my bachelor party from the night before. All of us woke up late,and e had an hours drive to the church. Somehow we managed to get out of the house in record time, and Dennis jumped into the driver's seat.
We must have been doing eighty down the highway. Twenty minutes into the drive I hear the siren, and Dennis says " crap I don't have my license." I thought he forgot his wallet so I wasn't concerned.
I was wrong, Dennis Told me right then that he had lost his license because of a DUI charge. I then thought we are so screwed.
He pulled over and the state trooper came to the window.
"License and registration." he gruffly said
"I can give you the registration, but I don't have a license officer." Dennis reluctantly said.
The trooper looked in the car, and asked where we were going?
" I am getting married today, and he is my best man."
"Not today he isn't, today he is under arrest."
Dennis proceeded to exit the car, as the officer told him to do.
But than he started taking his tux off."what the hell you doing."
screamed the trooper.
" If I get arrested, then he's going to need this tux for someone else."
The trooper told him to stop as he got to his shorts, and then asked if anybody else could drive. Dennis's brother said he could
drive.
"Okay you put your clothes back on, and you get behind the wheel. Then follow me."
That trooper gave us an escort all the way to the church. I think just to verify we weren't making it up. Not because he was being nice.
I got there 10 minutes ahead of my bride, and all she heard about the incident was that we almost got arrested. She went through the entire ceremony wondering what the hell happened.
Well that's enough for today, and may you all have a blessed Sunday. Stay tuned because if this is how it starts, think how the rest is going to go.

Hope this helps.

I am a middle aged father of 2 teenagers. A twenty something boy, and a seventeen year old daughter. I became a widower 2 years ago, on mother's day. I lost my wife of twenty-one years quite suddenly. So i took over being a single parent. This was quite the challenge considering My wife handled everything in our home. She was the social director, and just let me know when to show up. She also ran my daughter around to her extra-curricular activities. Still had time to volunteer at their schools, and hospice care.
MY wife also suffered from juvenile diabetes,kidney failure, and neuropathy and failing eyesight. Never once did she complain about doing for others or volunteering for one thing or another. Well never complained to anyone but me, and i Guess that is part of a husbands duty. I understand that now,but then I hated it. Strange how hindsight can make us wiser.
We will blog more on my kids and her later. Let me continue to tell you why I am even doing this blog. One reason is I am trying to learn to become a writer. The second reason is why not.
I work for a large metropolitan hospital. I have worked in the health care field for nearly 30 years. I was practically raised in a hospital. I have done just about every job, except nursing and being a doctor. So there will be some interesting stuff there to talk about.
Lastly I am a born again christian. Converting from Catholicism, to become an Evangelical baptist. SO yes there will be some discussion on Jesus, and God here as well.
I will try to blog daily, or every other day. If you have any comments please feel free to leave me some criticisms or insights. Please writing you suck serves no purpose, except showing your limited vocabulary.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and till the next time.